I’ve just listened to A Straight Question. This is about ex-lesbians/ gay men who ‘become’ straight. It begs a few questions and is slightly frustrating (although, to be fair, the presenter confessed she didn’t ‘have any answers’). It’s anecdotal, and a lot of what is said is interesting. But it doesn’t probe as it could. It could ask why we think in terms of necessarily being attracted to a man or a woman rather than an individual. It could ask what is behind sexuality and attraction – and long-term partnerships as opposed to ‘falling in love’. It could ask what identifying with a sexuality says about our own self-perception and social mores and norms.
One man said that he thought sexuality was fluid, and changed as our other tastes changed – e.g. music: he feels embarrassed about the (80s) music he listened to in his youth. I don’t know whether I just grew up too fast and knew myself too well too early, but my musical tastes haven’t changed (just expanded with experience); my sexuality has not changed: I will fall in love with whoever I fall in love with, male or female. His statement that ‘it’s possible to go from being gay to being straight… from being straight to being gay’ is very telling about society: it’s not about individuals, is it? We have to be catagorisable. However, another contributor said she objects to being put into a box, because ‘who knows what we are… what’s the problem; why do I need to tell you?’ This is more sensible. She also asked who knows what they want – a good point, since you can’t predict external circumstance or your reactions.
It’s clear from this that there are some very ingrained social pressures on our sexualities (I know this to my cost), and that ‘falling in love’ is not necessarily all heart.
This post is a bit unedited.